As I write this post I’m listening to ‘Seasons Change’ by United Pursuit. It’s nice, really. And fitting.
Lately I’ve had to make some very important decisions, and I can only hope they are good ones. I’ve decided to leave my day job and enter fully into missions and radio work.
Throughout this process I often prayed and cried about answers. I just wanted God to tell me what to do! I figured then I wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not I chose correctly. But I realized not too long ago that God wants a relationship. If all I want from God is “tell me what to do!” then I don’t really have any agency and I miss out on incredible opportunities to grow and learn. I have to be able to make choices and accept the responsibility for those choices.
And so, here I am, a couple months out of embarking on an incredible new journey. I am hopeful that the Good Word Radio Show, my time at the Justice House of Prayer, and my work with European Faith Missions will only benefit from this transition. I’m excited to see where the journey takes me, and I’m glad to have you all on the road with me!
So this post will get a bit personal. Sometimes certain times of the year can be more trying than others. That used to be the case for me near Valentine’s Day, but not so much this time around. I feel light and free from past choices and ready for the best God has for me. If I have been forgiven of my past sins, then all guilt and condemnation need not be attached to me. To that end, I will share a poem that I hope inspires the reader to remember that Jesus is fully aware of your sins, and they don’t scare Him one bit. He still loves you, and He still invites you to be His bride, His beloved.
In my heart I married you.
I readied myself before the altar,
Love awoken before its time.
You did not know me, but I allowed
you to know me because if you knew me,
you’d take more time to know me, right?
Love awoken before its time…
No daddy to walk me down the aisle but
you, you make me feel like it’s ok there is
no one to ask permission.
So in my flesh I married you,
but you couldn’t fill me.
Love was awoken before its time.
Do you not see me? Does not anyone see me?
Can you not feel the beating of my heart?!
I am good, and I deserve better than this.
I deserve better than you.
I see now the Lover of my soul pursuing me,
eyes burning with holy fire.
I am His and He is mine.
My garments are wedding white and I am beloved.
Oh yes. He sees me, He knows me,
and He calls me His own.
To this love, I gladly surrender.